O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
