You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
