State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
