Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
