I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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