Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
