So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
