We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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