i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
