I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
