1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
