I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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