either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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