Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
