I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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