So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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