the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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