i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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