we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize