It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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