it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
