first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we're making bets on your personal life
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
