Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
