Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
