My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
