Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
