and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
