Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I AM VODKA MAN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
