i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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