You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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