HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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