Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
