i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
