i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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