dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
