I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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