Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize