ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
