the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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