At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
