I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
