RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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