Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
