at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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