Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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