can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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