Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize