I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
