Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
