Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
MIDGETS
????
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
