seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
