fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
