Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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