i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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