Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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