It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
