so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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