Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
