There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Your cock deserves a montage
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize